Monday, 2 April 2012

The Gray Area - The Agony and the Ecstasy of Going Natural

Before I begin, you will have noticed that the look of the site has lightened considerably. Yes, it has. The message I am sending here, is happy spring.  As much as tartan has become a part of the Highland Fashionista brand, there is a time and a place for its deep colour and wooly coziness. And that time, generally speaking, is winter.  Unless you're talking about Madras, which I lurrrve.  That is a different story, for a different post.  In fact, I'm making a note of that right now, before I forget...

So the hair thing. It has become quite a popular topic indeed. I have gotten many enquiries and comments from women all different parts of the world who are either jumping on the gray hair bandwagon, thinking about joining our ranks, or at the very least, are talking about it.

One of the most frequent emails I get is from those of you in the early stages of growing out the dye. And believe me,  I feel you, ladies...oh yes.... I feel you. Those first three months can be the most difficult months to bear, in my opinion. Those first few inches of growth make you feel as if the world is looking at you and thinking "what's going on there", or "she really needs to get herself to the hairdresser".  After three months or so, your regrowth looks intentional, like you meant to do that.  In today's post I will share some of the ways I have soldiered-on with hairstyling during my transition back to my natural state, which, I should add, is still an ongoing process. I've been at it now since October of 2010. Here, look.




My hair is not that straight naturally. I feel I should point that out. This is day two without a shampoo. I mention this only because, if your gray is like mine, it is drier and frizzier than the other hairs on your head, and therefore needs a little more TLC. I try to wash every other day, although workouts, high winds, and just life in general ultimately dictates how frequently my follicles are acquainted with the shampoo bottle.

There is also the matter of distribution. My gray seems to be concentrated at the front of my head and at the inner temples. see?

The wind never lets up here in Scotland.
I can assure you, I normally don't eat my hair like in this photo.
So because of this distribution, when I pull it straight back off the forehead, there is still a lot of dark, natural colour underneath. That is how I got through the first three or four months of no dye. With a hairstyle like this.


Blends in better like this as my natural dark hair is still there.
Very Bride of Frankenstein.

I like to use a smaller headband with teeth now that I have grown out well beyond a few inches. But if you are just starting out, you might want to experiment with wide headbands or scarves. I find scarves too fiddly, personally, but they look fabulous on the right person. Also beware of too-tight headbands. I have been out and about more times than I care to remember and suddenly thought I had been stricken by a migraine. I don't get migraines. What I do get, as it turns out, is a headache induced by a too-tight plastic headband. So try before you buy ladies.

Another permutation on this style, something I still use when I need to look more professional and pulled together, is the pinned-back crown half-updo.


Again, the Bride of Frankenstein stripe persists, but the overall effect is more blended.

If you are struggling with length or perhaps are just starting out, you can always go for the zigzag or messy part look. I used that when I had about two inches of growth. It creates a wee bit of visual chaos right where that telling line is between nature and dye. I would mess up my part, then pin it so it would hold.



Probably not for the boardroom, but
perfect for the weekend.

Lastly, as you get more and more gray nearer to your face, you will find that you will have to shift your makeup palette. There is a lot written all over the net about what colours are appropriate for women with gray hair and how orange is to be avoided and bronzing powder is evil...blah, blah, blah.

What looks good on you and your gray hair is something that nobody else can really tell you without seeing you. Kind of like a doctor diagnosing you over the internet....it can't be done. This is especially true if you, like me, still have a lot of your natural colour. Yes, I have had to rethink some of my lipsticks, but I still use my bronzing powder (sparingly), and do not have a problem wearing warm colours or even oatmeal or beige, colours that are supposedly verboten for women with gray hair (whatever).

So these are the things that have worked, are still working, for me. Really you will have to experiment. I am still doing it too. And if you happen upon a product that actually tames frizz effectively and lasts all day without having to heat style, email me immediately. I want in on that action! (Seriously)

And so, dear readers, I will leave you with just one last happy discovery I have made during this process.




Bright fuchsia lipstick is your friend. 
How awesome is that!?
Pucker up!

10 comments:

  1. I get far more comments telling me I ought to dye my hair than unfavorable comments about what I wear. And I love the grey so far. Can't wait for the next haircut when I will be majority grey. I'm glad you are giving tips to help people do this if they want to.

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  2. It is actually a whole lot easier than I thought it would be. Basically, you just do nothing. How easy is THAT!? ANnd yours looks great BTW...naysayers be damned.

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  3. I am shocked at how many people go grey so young! I have a friend 10 years younger than me with lots of grey hair...I wonder if it's people with dark hair who go grey sooner? I have blonde hair so even if there's a stray grey in there, it's not noticeable. Good for you for going au natural and giving everyone tips!

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    1. Yeah, I think that it is a dark-haired thing. My dad and both of his parents were pure silver, and they were all dark like me. Its the kind of silver that doesn't take colour well either. It kind of turns pink in the sun. Much better to make peace with it, I think.

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  4. hi! (I found you through Pinterest.) :-)
    I just wanted to say it's nice to see someone talking up their NATURAL hair color, especially when it's going gray. I stopped coloring my hair about 10 years ago (in my early 30's) and I am now 43 with a head full of dark brown and a LOT of gray hair.
    My hair color is something I think about every. single. day. I am bothered by the fact that in today's society you can't 'age'. The thing is, is everyone stopped coloring their hair us girls brave enough to show our true color would be AMAZED, I am sure, at how many women actually look just like us without help from a bottle.
    To each her own.... but, it's nice to stand up and say, yes, I am young and gray. (Plus we save $$$ on hair coloring!!!)
    You are beautiful with your natural hair color, just so you know. I love that color lipstick (that's one thing I try to add to my color palette - a fun lip color). Oh - and when you find some great frizz control product - let me know!!!!! Those darn wiry grays! LOL

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    1. Hi Patty,
      You're right, it is funny how much of a big deal people make over letting your hair go natural. It's not as if you are deciding to gain a huge amount of weight or start chain-smoking, self-harming, or something that is actually destructive to your body. It is a colour, and that is all. And I think that a lot of people (mistakenly) think that by dyeing their hair that are somehow staving-off the ageing process. There is nothing more ageing than bad colour...or even semi-bad colour. That really darker than dark, yellowy-yellow, or eggplant colour that you see so often.... not so good. Thanks for your support. As for the anti-frizz, I just got a bottle of product from the salon this week, along with a new haircut that pretty much leaves me with no more dye. That post is forthcoming...

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  5. you are absolutely stunning! I think the gray looks awesome. I only hope mine grows out as pretty :)

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  6. You look kinda cool... There's a genuine something that shines through that makes you more

    complete.. A young and beautiful person.. It's odd for now but if you stay the course and

    find your hidden self.. You'll not only like it you'll love it.. Daniel

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  7. I love seeing the transition from dark brown to gray/silver. The silver is striking with the dark brown lowlights. A graybe (gray babe)!

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  8. You and your hair look lovely. I am nearing 50 and want to grow out my color. You have given me the courage to do so!

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Go on, make my day....