Greetings readers, and welcome to Soapbox Saturday, which I am going to post on a friday just because I can't get this first story out of my system.
I can barely manage to type, so distraught am I over this article in the Daily Mail that has me in complete tatters. Apparently, in the upcoming James Bond movie (titled Skyfall, to be released in November), Bond is no longer going to drink his traditional vodka "shaken, not stirred" martini, but will be instead reaching/asking for a....Heineken!?!?
Hollywood, you will rue the day you made the decision to Wal-Mart-ify the James Bond franchise by way of a lucrative sponsorship. Bond might as well trade in his tailored Italian suit for a pair of velour sweatpants and a gravy-stained tank top. Hand the Aston Martin keys to the greeter, Mr. Bond, your new car is a Dodge Ram with MI6 spray-painted across the door, a wooden gun rack, and a big Union Jack flying off the rear. Instead of wooing Miss Moneypenny with his overly-candid yet charming Freudian bon mots, he is apparently going to win his way into her bed by swilling a few brewskis, burping the alphabet, then crushing the empties against his forehead.
Shame on you Hollywood. Couldn't you at least manage to get him a decent microbrew to drink!? Was nobody at Redhook or Anchor Steam in their offices the day you took this decision!? Shame. On. You.
Read about it and become enraged here.