You're Not the Boss of Me


There has been a lot of ridiculous sh*t slung at women over the years, but there is perhaps no fistful of dung that is hurled in our general direction more frequently than those "age appropriate dressing" articles you see on those click-baity, photo-rich, prose-light blogvertorials. Often written from the point of view of helping our feeble minds navigate the rocky moonscape of fashion, many of these articles are in essence nothing more than a reinforcement of the status quo circa 1956; that women after a certain age should trade in fun and sexy quirkiness for mature and sedate respectability.  This week, both Catherine from Not Dressed as Lamb and Patti from Not Dead Yet Style shared one such "article" (a term I'm using quite loosely here), and for the life of me, I could not stop thinking about it.  Read the RantChic.com article here for yourself. I dare you not to laugh. Then when you're done with that one, try this one - it's a real belter. But whatever you do, make sure to wash it all down with this little gem. It takes ageist petty condescension and turns it up to eleven. In fact, it's probably best while you're reading these to not drink anything that might come shooting out of your nose.

Yet the aforementioned diatribes are but a mere sampling of what's out there. Let me tell you my friends, the internet is rife with articles that are more than comfortable calling us cougars while simultaneously urging us to cover up our offensively middle-aged body parts, so the pickings of such material are rich (dung is after all, the most naturally abundant of fertilisers). While these articles are certainly not the only examples of what is becoming a seemingly acceptable level of contempt for middle-aged women, the RantChic articles were indeed some of the worst offenders I came across in my searches. Okay, full disclosure…my search - in the singular.

The age bar against which all of our offences are measured has been set astonishingly low by RantChic at age 30; the symbolic age when we are apparently all expected to curl up into our shells and die our social and sartorial deaths. Hell, my tennis outfit that I'm wearing in the photo above breaks at least twelve of their rules just by being on my decrepit body! But what is perhaps saddest about all of this is that this drivel is published on a site for women, written by a woman, who apparently has quite a bit of contempt for…you guessed it, other women. Or at least those over 30, because as we all know, that's just gross.

But never mind that. Not one to miss an opportunity for snark, I would like to seize upon this moment to heighten public awareness to this most laughable of conspiracies against my gender with what I'm calling (in a bit of a stretch) a photojournalistic essay. And yes, my explicit intent is to mock these articles relentlessly until they run home in floods of tears and throw themselves prostrate onto their Justin Bieber duvet covers. In other words, you can eat it RantChic, you're not the boss of me.

The RantChic Book of Quotes:  A Guide to Fashion and Life For Your Disgustingly Withered, Sorry-Ass 30+ Life. 

by Highland Fashionista, age 43
(nearly 44…which by my calculations is pretty nearly dead)












And perhaps my personal favourite…


The management would like to extend an apology to any of you who may be experiencing any lasting undesired effects following the recent photo of a hint of over-30 cleavage. 

Comments

  1. I have a poor imagination and love hoop earrings.

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  2. You rock all the looks!! I think the author is already over the hill... what a bore!! I love your looks:) Coco

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  3. Life stops somewhere between 30 and 40. Sure. :)

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  4. This. Is. Simply. AMAZING!! I'm sick to death of people telling me what is appropriate. You are stunning and fierce!

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  5. Fab, fab, fab! :-)
    Always enjoying your posts
    Ems

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  6. Inimitable, indomitable. Keep on keeping on.

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    1. Hey LPC! Good to see you, and thanks for reading, as always!

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  7. Ha ha! Loved it! You showed them!

    bisous
    Suzanne

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  8. Hah! My work internet has blocked the rantchic.com article "for my protection." :-p But yeah, what a load of pearl-clutching crap, at least the excerpts you've so wonderfully refuted here.

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    1. To be honest, your work may be on to something. It is indeed for the protection of your blood pressure that you are unable to read that stuff. They are protecting the cardiovascular integrity of their employees.

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  9. Thank you for my daily dose of outrage at the internet. I look better now at 55 than I did at 30, in many ways. And you look better than me. We will wear whatever the heck we want, thankyouverymuch, and publish it in abundance!

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  10. I laugh a lot! Love your posts! I have also broken a lot of rules, Silvia (49, a little old but not dead) from Argentina.

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  11. A really interesting, positive and realistic post. My blog is an attempt to prove the opposite of what it says in the article that you comment. The elegance and attractiveness are not inherent to youth. Elegance and appeal of mature woman, sure of herself and aware of the role that women play in society, is wonderful. My theory is that, with age, increases the personal style and safety. A mature woman can dress in any way, in any manner with which she is comfortable and attractive. And by the way, your body is anything but decrepit thing, it's just the opposite. Some women do not love women, it is sad.

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  12. Excellent come back! I get sooooooooo sick of this kind of crap.

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  13. Undesired effect - ooh I hope so! X

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    1. I guess we women of a certain age should come with a warning label if we want to show a hint of cleavage on a night out or something. Like one of those pharmaceutical commercials. "side effects may include sudden bouts of self-righteousness, pearl-clutching, and inability to live and let live. See your doctor if symptoms last for more than 24 hours."

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  14. Thank you on behalf of all women over 30!! You are such a funny and very apt writer. I really do wonder what happens to the girl who wrote The Rantchic-stuff The day she turns 30. Oh, Lets find out when her birthday is and sent her an age apropriate outfit!

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    1. Oooh, that would be hilarious. What would we send that wouldn't infringe upon the "guidelines"? I suppose a Burka is always a safe bet.

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  15. Ha - you tell 'em!!! You look fantastic!

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  16. Oh yeah, tell 'em Kristin. You look fantastic and that is the best come-back. xox

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  17. You are beautiful and any other opinion isn't worth a mention. Your styings are fabulous. Your comments are entertaining and invaluable. 😄❤️

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  18. A great post! I was just chatting about the same subject on the blog relating to crop tops and cut offs. I think as long as you feel comfortable wearing it then wear it! You look great in all these things that we are suppose to be no no's for us gals over 30!

    Alice
    www.happinessatmidlife.com

    Would love for you to stop by & join TBT Fashion link up.

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    1. Thanks for the invite, and I will do that right now! I've been meaning to join your linkup for a while…there's just not enough time in the day…Just added you to my Bloglovin' feed.

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  19. Admiring this woman is like admiring a spoiled child that won't take any advice. She looks ridiculous in 80% of the photos.

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    1. *laughs maniacally in her cropped top and rhinestone heels while sitting in tattoo artist's chair getting inked and listening to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off"*

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  20. Ahhhh. Thanks for this! Just got back from a marathon dentist appointment with mouth swollen and head throbbing. Your post cheered me up no end. As I'm reading it I'm thinking....this is why we love your blog!

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  21. Brilliant, you look great in all those looks. Would love to see what those writers think when they reach puberty! I'm 47 wearing shorts and will continue to do so while the sun shines on our Greek island (forever then!) !!

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  22. Yay! You certainly took one for the team girl! Good on you! Andrea x

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  23. Age 65. Wear it all. Who cares what others wear? Your article is spot on. Brava.

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  24. Excellent response to the unending tedious policing of women's attire. Made me laugh hard!

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  25. Found your blog on a list at Chic at Any Age. Scrolling through posts to decide if I like it enough to add to my regularly read blogs. Hit this one and the decision was easy: hell, yeah!

    Nina D

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