The Inexplicable Allure of the One Piece Jumpsuit

On this, the occasion of my 51st birthday, I suppose I've arrived at an age where I've finally been granted a therapeutic level of insight by The Universe. Do not confuse that with the stoic maturity so often associated with women of a certain age. I still do not have much (okay, any) of that, nor do I particularly want it. But be that as it may, due to my increasing obligations as a member of the wise and increasingly wrinkled (I like the sun, sue me), I feel the need to address some of life's more complex issues.

Guys, we need to talk about jumpsuits.

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There is perhaps no sartorial moment you could conjure that would make you reflect on your life choices more than the moment you are in an aggressively air-conditioned public restroom stall, completely stripped bare from the knees up because you decided to wear your cute jumpsuit to the bar. It is in these moments that we think to ourselves, "why do I do this?"

There's no denying that jumpsuits are hard. They are difficult to fit (nearly impossible if you're long-waisted), they confuse men (my husband is not a fan), and they completely negate your ability to perform the simple act of shedding a layer of clothing with minimal exposure. But we are drawn to them anyway. WHY!?

Why We Can't Stay Away From a One Piece Jumpsuit

For me, the allure of the jumpsuit lies in its promise of a louche silhouette coupled with easy, "one and done" dressing. Never mind that they rarely end up looking that way when we wear them - that was simply the campaign promise made by jumpsuits, and despite all evidence to the contrary, we still believe their big lie.

That said, the one piece jumpsuit I'm wearing today is actually one that I have come to appreciate over time. I believe it's originally from Target. Pardon me... Targeé (/Tar-jay). I thrifted it because I was in need of something I could put on that covered a bit more of my skin for riding my scooter in the Florida heat; something that didn't add a lot of bulk under my motorcycle jacket. This was really an experiment, and over time, this jumpsuit and I have come to an understanding. No, I won't be reaching for this if I'm looking to look streamlined or professional, but this jumpsuit actually does deliver on one and done dressing. Heck, in these photos I literally took off my bathing suit, popped in some earrings, grabbed some accessories, and headed out. I'm not even wearing makeup (okay lip balm). My hair smells of pool and sweat and just a tinge of the nutritional spray I just got done putting on the palm trees in the back yard. The glamour.

The bag is a 70s vintage straw bag that I purchased intending to add it to the shop, but quickly realized that I was actually carrying it on a lot of errands, so I kept it. The shoes are from my closet, and the earrings are Native crafted, purchased from an artisan market (I didn't realise they were swinging in the first photo and didn't photograph, so I added a separate photo.)

So what's the message here? Honestly, I'm not sure, other than jumpsuits are hard, they are more often than not a poor fit, but every once in a while once surprises you. So if like me you cannot resist the lure of the jumpsuit, know that you actually don't have to resist the allure. Just know it may just take a while to find one that really works for you in the way that you need it to. In other words, we have to do our own research. I cannot believe I just used that phrase.