Monday, 25 May 2015

70's Skirt

Continuing the recent trend in high-waistedness, we have here one high-waisted, front-button, a-line denim skirt. Paired with a yellow pussy bow blouse (do you hate that it's called "pussy bow" as much as I do?) and wedges, the look takes on a bit of a dressed-down, just-wandered-away-from-the-secretarial-pool-circa-1978 vibe.

I was an actual secretary for about a hot minute in Seattle in the 90s at various temp jobs, and I can honestly tell you that I am the worst secretary ever. I am a person who is easy bored, and in a job where you just need to be efficient and get tasks done as per protocol, my creative flair for renaming files with clever (I thought) puns and monikers and my inability to behave obsequiously in the presence of misogynist old-school boss types usually didn't win many points. I used to find these cowering office types who would practically prostrate themselves in front of their ruddy-faced, golf-obsessed bosses sort of funny. Like, sad-funny. Funny odd, not funny ha ha. The Emperor has no clothes, and all that.

There were good things too. The good part about being a temp secretary is that you got to see the insides of a lot of the cool big buildings in the city. It was also great being able to say no when you were asked back to an assignment that you didn't care for. However, the best part about it was learning what type of professional environments you definitely wanted to avoid in the future. Believe me, there were many.

Ann Taylor blouse (old), similar / thrifted denim skirt / Clarks Elsa Purity wedges

Thursday, 21 May 2015

Fun with Fakery: Color Contacts

I've always had a bit of a fascination with color contacts. It's not that I don't like my naturally dark brown eyes, I do...very much. In fact, I look best with my natural eye color, as do most people. But just the idea that you can temporarily change your eye color as you would your underpants just seems, And sometimes, it's just nice to do things that are fun, if only for fun's sake.

I like to think of color contacts as an accessory, to be played-with, enjoyed, talked about, and then put back in the case when it's time to play tennis or do something serious. I don't wear regular contacts, so the feeling of something on my eyeball is, at this stage in my life, purely for recreational purposes.

The thing about color contacts is that they look different on everyone. While there's a whole host of YouTube videos out there with various people reviewing and comparing the different brands of contacts. With a few exceptions, most of them are under 30 or doing drag. In other words, you probably won't find anyone who looks like you....if your "you" is like my "me" know...older. But does that matter? Meh, probably not really.  It depends on what you really want to do with your fake eyeballs, I suppose. I've found that in my 40's, the dramatic makeup I would have worn with a color contact when I was in my 20's no longer works, and with my ever-increasingly silver hair, the lighter the contact, the more zombie-like I look. That's the thing about color contacts, especially on dark eyes. They will never, ever look natural, especially upon close inspection. The lighter the contact, the deader the zombie. You simply have to ask yourself if you care, or if you're just willing to work "a look" for a night. It's a look best worn in lower lighting (like the indoor iPhone snaps I took - pictured above), as harsh outdoor natural light is generally not your friend with any kind of fakery, from contacts to hair dye to foundation.

Personally, I actually like the idea of looking a little post-apocalyptic. In fact, if anyone who works on The Walking Dead is reading this, it is my deepest desire to be a zombie in an episode or two. I'm not kidding. I've seen every single zombie movie George "Godfather of the Dead" Romero has ever made. I'm a natural. I've been practicing my walk, I have the right hair, a full set of teeth for gnashing, and will even bring my own contacts. Call me.

How to Rock (Possibly Zombie-Like) Color Contacts in Your 40s

*Low lighting situations are the best place to wear color contacts
*Wear a defined brow, especially if your hair is light or white
*The eyes are the focus, so liner is a must (but not too much)
*Go easy on the rest of your makeup, or you'll look nuts
*Stagger around room with arms extended moaning "braaaaaiins..."

My fake eyes: Solotica Natural Color contacts in Quartzo